How closely related are Emotional Intelligence and Resilience?

by | Aug 8, 2019 | Insights | 0 comments

Emotional Intelligence and Resilience go together. They are two sides of the same coin. Your emotional intelligence and resilience are your ‘social currency’.

I recently wrote a piece for the Institute of Managers and Leaders about fostering emotional intelligence and resilience. This got me thinking: How do I understand and manage my emotions? What does my ‘EI’ look like?

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to see emotions and the impact of those emotions in yourself, and on others. Remember, emotions can drive our behaviour and impact other people.

  • Do you ever finding yourself reacting when your ‘buttons are pushed’?
  • Do you understand why you reacted that way, or why it is a trigger?

Reflection is a key part of understanding your emotions and building emotional intelligence. An understanding of Emotional Intelligence is becoming increasingly critical for managers and leaders.

The four criteria for measuring emotional intelligence are:

  1. Being aware of the emotions;
  2. Being aware of how you express the emotions;
  3. Regulating the emotions;
  4. The relationships with others;

In addition, there are four areas of emotional intelligence. These are:

  1. Self-awareness;
  2. Self-management;
  3. Social awareness;
  4. Relationship development;

(1 -2 are inward facing, and 3-4 are outward facing):

Check out this personal reflection tool to help understand the way you think and behave, and help you understand areas of growth.

Sometimes, how we think about and view situations isn’t objective. Strategies that will help include:

  • Asking more questions;
  • Listening to what others have to say;
  • Asking others how they see the situation;

Understanding and developing why and how you react to the emotions you feel will enable you to develop and foster strong, positive relations; this will take some time, developing your emotional intelligence is a learning curve, and it starts with a decision.

If you are interested in reviewing the Return on Investment (RoI) of emotional intelligence, the Institute for health and Human Potential have published a white paper titled: The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you understand, and have control over, your emotional reactions?
  • Can you put yourself in other people’s shoes?
  • Can you modify your emotions if/as needed?

Resilient leaders and managers are emotionally intelligent leaders and managers.


Like emotional intelligence, resilience is learned behaviour developed by practicing.  Resilience describes how you recover, try again, and move forward from a tough situation.

Resilience is utilising your skills and strengths to cope and recover from setbacks and challenges.

Why is Resilience important?

Resilience does not eliminate stress or remove difficulties, it does however enable you to address challenges, overcome difficulties and move on.

There are many ways you can build your resilience; importantly reflect on what has worked, what didn’t work, how you felt, and the impact you had on others.

  1. Look after your physical and emotional health.
  2. Don’t beat yourself up.
  3. Have high emotional intelligence.
  4. Don’t dwell on failure.
  5. Keep things in perspective.
  6. Focus your time and energy on changing the things you can control.
  7. Focus on your strengths.
  8. Build a supportive network.

Resilience is an essential part of Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence facilitates Resilience.

There is now a third certainty in life; death, taxes and now, change. To thrive, grow, and support your staff through change, developing your skills in emotional intelligence and resilience are essential.

If you require any further convincing regarding resilience and its importance to leadership, check out this 2017 Forbes post – Why Resilience Is Necessary As A Leader.

If you are ready to take control of your inner dialogue, you’ll be well on your way to not only deal with your own challenges, but to lead others to do the same.

Complexity is no excuse for inactivity, call me now (+61412390640) I know the strategies for you to control your emotions instead of letting them control you. Let me know you read my article and I am going give you the first hour of my time at no cost to you.

Bill Miliotis

Organisational Architect and Change Leader.

Working across multiple sectors, Bill facilitates the creation and implementation of lasting development, growth and outcomes.

For more information visit or email

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